When anything is new, we experience it differently than when we are accustomed to it. The novelty is naturally appealing to our brains. Our senses are heightened. You may be keenly aware of what feels right and what doesn’t.
So when I recently dipped my toe back into the dating waters, I enjoyed the fresh perspective and naturally, I kept my productivity lens on. With the different apps and new opportunities for engagement, it can be pretty time consuming. I soon found myself thinking of ways to make it less onerous, more enjoyable and more likely to be successful.
I chatted with my dating friends of both sexes and came up with a list of recommendations which I had the pleasure of sharing with writer and creator of Friend of a Friend Matchmaking, Sofi Papamarko, who wrote this piece for The Toronto Star. Six tips for streamlining your dating life. Or as Sofi so hilariously described it when she posted it on facebook, “how to de-f*ck my dating life”.
If you or someone you know is dating, I invite you to read or share this post.
I have a few more thoughts to add…
1. You can be completely happy on your own. I spoke to several people who felt no need to prioritize dating in their lives. In fact, the ability to be happy on your own makes you all the more attractive.
2. If finding and building a relationship is important to you, if it is your intention, it deserves your time, energy and attention. Not only at the beginning, but on a consistent basis. In many interviews with older people when they look back on their lives, the quality of their relationships is the thing that matters most.
3. You must regularly check in with yourself. Trust your gut if something feels off. Have probing conversations to uncover what is really going on. Watch for signs of other relationships or being taken advantage of. Don’t be duped by the duplicitous, deceptive story tellers out there.
4. Have some fun! While on your search, you’ll likely make good friends along the way. When coupled up in a heterosexual relationship, it often happens that women lose their male friends and vice versa. It has been a joy to develop new friendships. This is especially handy when you’re looking for insight into the mind of the opposite sex.
I have a few openings for private coaching if you’re looking to be more productive in any area of life, and especially if you’re looking for better work-life integration. Schedule a Discovery Chat with me here to learn more.